Kyria: Hey muse...Why don`t u kiss me?
The muse:U stink , Kyria....
Kyria: Thats not nice from u, saying that....
The muse: Why don`t u just move your big fat ass instead of waiting for me to kiss u smelly zombie...?
Kyria:I can`t...I somehow like living here in my big black empty hole...its so romantic and melancholic when u think about it....a pale depressive lost girl waitin for something....
The muse:lost girl lol, how sweet.try smelly zombie...u could get a shower at least......
big black empty hole:Yeah...I think so too....cannot stand u either anmore...and by the way your getting heavy Kyria...
Kyria`s big fat ass:Hey...I heard that one!....

p.h. vs t.h part 2- pet heaven- meeting Alessio

After taking 2 Xanax I woke up today after a 12 hours power-nap. I do take Xanax when I am fed up of waking up every hour. Xanax allows me to enjoy the luxury of sleeping as long as I want on a weekend night, just like the average person. You propably imagine how I sleep without it, but that is not the point. Besides getting the rest I need i also had the oppurtunity to meet Herr Nilson. One of the three turtles my brother and me owned as our first pets. I was just about to come back from another dream when I woke up. I moved my matress to find a trap door opened it and walked down. I saw him on a beautiful meadow surrounded by mountains. I fist was horribly ashamed cuz I am somehow responsible for his death, but as soon as I saw him as he rekongnized me I knew I did not have to, he looked so warm and peaceful and it was just clear that it did not matter what was before, that was all earth shit he hugged me and light was spreading out of the hugging mashed-up something, the two of us were consisting of. BY that time, I was already in love with him, wishing I was some cute little turtle girl with a shiny carapace . So we sat down next to a lake with babyblue water and started our conversation, the first thing he told me was that his name wasn`t Herr Nilson anymore, not because he did not like it but its a thing in pet heaven that you get yourself a new name as a sign of freedom. I felt really bad when I heard that as it reminded me how much of a cruelty to pet it is to be held in cages, but he said, as much as he suffered, the afterlife would make up for everything.He then told me his name was Alessio now. Why Alessio?I asked "I fell in love with Italy..." " You went to Italy as a dead turtle??? How is that possible?" "Oh that was like a campaign if you died before 1997 then you could amongst other thing choose a 2 weeks trip to any desired country. I only knew Brasil where your aunt smuggled me into the plain and then Germany where I began slavery. So in fact I haven`t heard much about other countries , but I remember the comic "the turtles" liing around in your brothers room. The comic fascinated me as there were also turtles, but yet their life was so different than Chucha Mondi and mine, they were italian and they were superheros and walking on two legs, so I found them pretty interesting and decided for italy and it was wonderful." While he was telling me his story I suddenly noticed a lettering on his right arm . "Chucha". i grabbed his arm and pointed to the tatoo."Jesus, you really were in love with Chucha?? cuz I always wondered why she never got pregnant from either you or Mondi, when there was just the three of you and nothing else to do..." " Oh It was only in the afterlife that we started dating, but of course I always loved her, just like Mondi, but you know back in slavery or life or however you might call it Mondi and I made a pact, noone would touch her, because you know, there were only the three of us and we had to stick together, we could not really afford to leave somebody out or get into a game of jealousy." I thought about how much of a fascinating character Herr Nilson or Alessio had been and I felt lousy that I didn`t try to communicate more with them when I was a child, he would have been such a good influence on my lousy sinner character. " So you two are like together now, married or whatever commitments you do have here in the afterlife?" " We see each other from now and then smile et each other, light drifts out of us and we part in different directions to fulfill our tasks,.." "what the f...?" as soon as pronounced the f-word I was violently thrown through the trap door and found myself in my dark cold room. Jesus they could have just buzzed over the word or something instead of throwing me out so violently and why did they let me in a sinner like me anyway?? I lay down again and started thinking if this hugging and light coming out of oneself-sort of thing was the heaven-equivalent to sex on earth, which would then again mean I have had sex with a giant tattoed turtle which according to earthern standards would count among zoophilia and thus paraphilia. After waking up tomorrow I should definitely take a bath....

(soon to be continued after waking up...)

pet heaven vs.toy heaven

Iam kinda missing the feeling I had when I was a little girl when I knew at night all my teddys Barbies, dolls, Playmobile smurfs and little ponies would become alive at night and having a big party but also watching me. I think I used to be kind of the queen of that realm and I must say I was a pretty damn good queen, as unlike my girlfriends that I liked to boss around, I treated my toys very well, brushing my dolls hair every other day, bathing them or simply caress them. Iam wondering about that now, as once again there is this snoring creature lying next to me and I don`t know really how to communicate with it. Seems like their sperm is just like what battery is too my walking doll. When its out they just close there eyes and turn into a snoring stone. Iam also thinking about my pets that I used to have. My three turtles Mondi Chucha and Herr Nilson, my budgies Coco Pico and Nala, my mice Shiva Chiquita and Luna, my cat Nikita my rat Pinkeltje and my goldfish Bo. I also remember that my favourite Barbie was black and called Belle, just like Belle from the beauty and the beast and she was prolly the only loved black Barbie in the whole smelly disgusting suburb where I grew up.
I can`t really decide whether wanting to be in toy heaven or in pet heaven. I forgot feeding my guinea pig a lot and also my turtle didn`t quite get old for a turtle. In additon to that one should say that turtles shouldn`t be hold as pets at all, there carapece makes them seem robust and all but in fact you its not that robust and turtles shouldn`t be touched. It must have been those bloddy English who brought up that whole turtles-as-pets-thing and I could of course blame my parents as well, cuz they are of course the responsibles but they carry so much guilt anyway, bringing me and my brother to the world.. so anyway I might will just have better chances in toy heaven. Iam just scared though that with its emphasis on Barbies and dolls toy heaven must have some kind of L.A. club- flavour and I might be too ugly for them and maybe they will even have a door man and I won`t pass face check and even if I would, chances are low that some playmobil knight, Ken or Heaman action figurine will want me. Cuz yeah I mean whats the point about heaven when this game is gonna end?And I must admit Iam quite curious about plastic kisses and shrinkwrapped underwear. But speaking realistic the maximum is perhaps a chubby Lego pirate. Lousy prey isn`t it?In every case I should die anytime soon, so I will arrive there with a more or less still young face and then maybe they have something like a free welcome-to-toy-heaven-saluation-beauty-surgery. And then maybe maybe if Iam very lucky and seductive the darth vader-figurine might fall for me, cuz he must be like Teh shit of every fetish dream.... both of us will prolly end up in toys hell, but Darth in fact belongs there anyway and well me, yeah I don`t know, I kind of develloped into a quite decent human being in fact but I do not really have much more time to develope my decentness any further as its time to die and the longer I wait the more wrinkles and cellulite Iam gonna get and if there is one investation one should make then it must be eternal beauty for the afterlife, cuz seriously who gives a shit about character when you get a MDMA injection every morning?(they must have that in heaven...) but what if the`ll send me to earth one more time cuz I am not good enough. Lucky as Iamm I will prolly get reborn as the seventh child of a starving family in Malawi and how will I develope decentness on a place where there is no option but to be forced to be stronger than the other. I can`t stop thinking but I really gotta sleep now, will continue that thought tomorrow...